Corporate-speak

What they say-v-what they mean

They say…

Translation

A good year

(Although our share price has gone down due to massive losses) there was an increase in Directors’ and CEO’s remuneration

Cooperation with government - 1

Tax breaks

Cooperation with government - 2

Taxpayer-funded bailout

Cooperation with government - 3

Taxpayer-funded guarantees

Cooperation with government - 4

Taxpayer-funded subsidies

Cooperation with government

Hopefully all of the 1 – 4 above without giving a ‘retired’ MP a seat on our board

Commercial-in-confidence

We are so ashamed of what we are going to do that it’s better (for us) if you don’t know

Corporate responsibility

We don’t understand this, but our PR flacks say it is a phrase to be inserted into press releases

 

 

Equity

We don’t understand this, but our PR flacks say it is a word to be inserted into press releases

Ethics

We don’t understand this, but our PR flacks say it is a word to be inserted into press releases

Fresh approach to client relations

A new logo

Hands-on involvement

Mismanagement (well! Keating got away with it – we could too!)

Hostile takeover bid

The Directors are holding out for a better position after the takeover

Fully guaranteed

Except for that tiny little bit tucked away on page 297

Future-proofing

Plant closures and redundancies

Green policy initiatives

Price increase

Guests

Customers

Investors brace for a fall

Expect a corresponding increase in Directors’ and CEO’s remuneration

Long term

Between now and the next dividend declaration

Ordinary shareholders have a right to…

The fund managers are demanding…

Mum and dad shareholders

We don’t understand this, but our PR flacks say it is a phrase to be inserted into press releases

Normal corporate expenses

Lurks and perks

Not overly positive

Negativ:e

Planning for the future

Setting up an increase in Directors’ and CEO’s remuneration

public–private partnership (PPP, 3P or P3)

A system for transferring public funds to corporations

See also – public–private partnership (PPP, 3P or P3) in poli-speak>

Rationalisation - 1

An increase in Directors’ and CEO’s remuneration

Rationalisation - 2

Plant closures and redundancies

Rubbery numbers

fiddled

Market research tells us…

The fund managers are demanding

Structural change

A new logo