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Corporate-speak What they say-v-what they mean |
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They say… |
Translation |
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A good year |
(Although our share price has gone down due to massive losses) there was an increase in Directors’ and CEO’s remuneration |
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Cooperation with government - 1 |
Tax breaks |
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Cooperation with government - 2 |
Taxpayer-funded bailout |
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Cooperation with government - 3 |
Taxpayer-funded guarantees |
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Cooperation with government - 4 |
Taxpayer-funded subsidies |
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Cooperation with government |
Hopefully all of the 1 – 4 above without giving a ‘retired’ MP a seat on our board |
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Commercial-in-confidence |
We are so ashamed of what we are going to do that it’s better (for us) if you don’t know |
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Corporate responsibility |
We don’t understand this, but our PR flacks say it is a phrase to be inserted into press releases |
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Equity |
We don’t understand this, but our PR flacks say it is a word to be inserted into press releases |
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Ethics |
We don’t understand this, but our PR flacks say it is a word to be inserted into press releases |
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Fresh approach to client relations |
A new logo |
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Hands-on involvement |
Mismanagement (well! Keating got away with it – we could too!) |
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Hostile takeover bid |
The Directors are holding out for a better position after the takeover |
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Fully guaranteed |
Except for that tiny little bit tucked away on page 297 |
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Future-proofing |
Plant closures and redundancies |
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Green policy initiatives |
Price increase |
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Guests |
Customers |
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Investors brace for a fall |
Expect a corresponding increase in Directors’ and CEO’s remuneration |
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Long term |
Between now and the next dividend declaration |
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Ordinary shareholders have a right to… |
The fund managers are demanding… |
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Mum and dad shareholders |
We don’t understand this, but our PR flacks say it is a phrase to be inserted into press releases |
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Normal corporate expenses |
Lurks and perks |
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Not overly positive |
Negativ:e |
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Planning for the future |
Setting up an increase in Directors’ and CEO’s remuneration |
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public–private partnership (PPP, 3P or P3) |
A system for transferring public funds to corporations See also – public–private partnership (PPP, 3P or P3) in poli-speak> |
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Rationalisation - 1 |
An increase in Directors’ and CEO’s remuneration |
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Rationalisation - 2 |
Plant closures and redundancies |
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Rubbery numbers |
fiddled |
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Market research tells us… |
The fund managers are demanding |
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Structural change |
A new logo |